


Bad Dream

by Vic_writes01



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Coming Out, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mentioned Sonia Kaspbrak, Pennywise (IT) Being an Asshole, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-02-26 22:00:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21841711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vic_writes01/pseuds/Vic_writes01
Summary: After playing a spooky game in middle school, Eddie finally tells Richie 6 years later in their freshman year of college.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Kudos: 36





	Bad Dream

**Author's Note:**

> I'm Kaspbrak-Tozier-Reddie on Tumblr, I've decided to add my fics on here as well.

It wasn’t strange for Eddie to occasionally get nightmares from a game he and his group of friends played in middle school. Even as a 19 year old, the memories still haunt him. It was as if the thing that he buried deep inside wanted to come out. His nights always were normal; he ate dinner, had a shower, brushed his teeth, studied until lights out then headed for bed. Nothing to suggest that his dreams would turn bad or into nightmares.

It was a cold November night. Eddie loved this kinda temperature as it meant he could rug up tightly with multiple layers of blankets and long flannel pyjamas.

He pulled out 2 reasonably warm blankets that he stole from his mother’s bedroom cupboard and threw them on the bed. He looked over at his roommate peacefully sleeping, Eddie knew he had to be quiet and yet he still grunted, loudly, when lifting the mattress.

As soon as his head hit the pillow, he was out cold.

*

His nightmares all start out the same. Cold, dim, faint whispers from his friends who seemed to be a good 30 metres away and a giant clown head looming over him. The clown’s head always has a creepy smirk plastered on its face. It then will shrink down portraying what Eddie fears most.

The clown always shifted into a leper first but Eddie always showed no reaction.

Eddie often lied to his friends saying that he was afraid of germs.

That was true.

Except there was something else. Something else that scared him more, especially in such a small town like Derry.

His sexuality.

The clown studied Eddie, almost like he was digger deeper and deeper into Eddie’s soul, trying to find that secret hidden fear that Eddie refuses to ever admit.

“He will never love you, Eddie.” The clown would taunt. “Richie doesn’t love you. Imagine if he found out you like him?”

As if on cue a tall, lanky, brunette boy would walk up to Eddie. Except there was never a warm smirk from the boy, like there often was. Instead it was a devilish side smirk that often suggested he was about to do something mean or stupid.

_“Hey guys!” The tall brunette called to the rest of the group._

_“What now Richie?” A tall blonde boy asked._

_“Stan the Man, did you know that our little Eds here is a fag?” Richie asked, gesturing to Eddie._

_“Why would we be friends with a fairy?” A redheaded girl asked._

_“Guys?” Eddie felt his lips quiver as the word left his mouth._

_Fear cradled Eddie. He watched his best friends laugh and point at him as they continued on calling him gay slurs._

_“Bye bye Edward.” Richie said._

_He was frozen and looked on as they left laughing and glancing back towards him._

_“Oh poor sweet little Eddie Spaghetti. Did your friends make fun of you?” The clown mocked._

_In a blink of an eye, he then found himself in the dorm room that he shares with Richie. On Richie’s side of the room, boxes were packed and the bed was stripped. Clothes and books were gone and candy wrappers were no longer scattered on the floor._

_Richie appeared behind him and forcefully turned him around. The tall boy smirked and then turned into Eddie’s mother. “Eddie darling, that Tozier boy is a bad influence. He’s infected you.”_

_Eddie knew what the clown was saying. But he couldn’t retaliate. No matter how hard he tried, no words came out._

_“It’s a sickness, Eddie.”_

*

He woke in a sweat. He flipped himself over so that he was facing his nightstand instead of the wall. Eddie had a clear view of Richie, the moonlight shining in through Richie’s half open curtain, lit up his face.

Eddie looked at how his curly brown hair was tussled and was all over his face. Richie smiled in his sleep and let out a soft sigh in contentment.

It made sense as to why the clown always used Richie and not some other boy that Eddie found attractive. Eddie was always drawn to Richie, even if he was a dick half the time. Especially those ‘your mom’ jokes.

Sure Richie was good looking but the words that fell out of his mouth, his hygiene level and not to mention his need to drink and smoke. Eddie was often grossed out and annoyed by his best friend.

Eddie peaked over at the photo of him and Richie, on his nightstand. The photo was from the night before their high school graduation. Richie had set up the camera on a timer and had run back to hug Eddie before the flash went off.

Eddie sighed heavily, careful to not wake Richie up in the process. He knew he had to tell Richie especially since he’d been keeping this secret for years. If there was one person he trusted in his friend group more than anyone, was Richie.

He sat up and looked over at the bed next to him. “Richie?” Eddie whispered, knowing full well that Richie was a light sleeper.

“Yeah Eds?” Richie’s groggy voice whispers back.

“You know that reoccurring dream that I’ve been having since middle school?”

“Yeah? Did you have it again?”

“Yeah but I uh, I’m ready to talk about it.”

Eddie never wanted to talk about this particular dream with Richie. No matter how hard he tried to deny it, he knew he was in love with Richie. Every touch, every longing look, every annoying comment about fucking Eddie’s mom and every smirk that Richie threw Eddie’s way made him weak at the knees.

It was a good weak though, it didn’t make him feel helpless against a bully like Henry Bowers. It made him weak in a way that gave him hope that maybe just maybe Richie felt the same way. Richie was never touchy with the rest of the Losers, just Eddie. Hell! Eddie was the only Loser to see Richie cry. But at the same time, that could just be because they’ve been friends longer than the others. But then there’s Stan. Stan had been friends with Richie and Eddie since 1st grade, only 1 year between Eddie and Stan’s friendships with Richie.

He never teased or annoyed the others as much or as harsh as Eddie. It was like he wanted attention from one person and one person only.

It wasn’t just that, it was the other things that weren’t directed at Eddie. Whenever Richie smoked, yes it bugged him, but Eddie had to admit it was hot. It was the way he held the cigarette and the stance he took when the two were talking. But what got to him was the fact that Richie always was mindful of Eddie’s asthma and would turn away so that the smoke never went near him.

Richie always carried a spare inhaler at all times in case Eddie was in a position where he couldn’t get his inhaler or it ran out. Richie has never had to use the spare but it’s there for the day Eddie needs it.

Stan had even started making suggestive comments directed towards Eddie about Richie before they all left to college.

Eddie took a shakey breath. “ _What’s up with you? Do you like Richie?_ ” Stan had asked. He didn’t even plan this, how was he supposed to tell Richie?

“You sure Eds?” Richie asked. “I don’t want you to seem like you’re being forced.”

“‘Chee.” Richie pushed himself off his bed and made his way to Eddie’s and sat himself at the foot of the bed. “I’ve been keeping this from you for 6 years.”

“Okay. Just take you time.”

“I just want to start off by saying uh, I - ” Eddie stopped.

“Take your time.” Richie said calmly.

“My bad dreams aren’t really nightmares. They’re scary but not in the way that nightmares usually are.”

“I don’t understand.”

Eddie tried to form a complete sentence in his head but the way that Richie looked distracted him. His tussled curly brown hair. Even if it was freezing cold out, Richie was shirtless.

“I lied back when we played that game back in middle school. Yes I’m afraid of germs but I’m afraid of something else. I was afraid to even admit that fear to myself.”

“And you dream about this?” Eddie nodded. “What happens?”

“The clown, Pennywise, taunts me. You all call me names and then my mom -”

“Eddie are you saying -” Eddie nodded.

“I’m gay Rich and the fucking clown shows me all of you teasing me, mocking me, rejecting me. Then you - you’re leaving our fucking dorm room and then turns into my fucking mother!” Eddie stopped and looked at Richie. Richie looked down, even though he would never, he felt guilty that Eddie couldn’t tell him.

“She uh, she claims that you’re the one that infected me. You were the one that instigated the teasing and name calling.” Eddie continued.

Richie lefted his head back up and searches Eddie’s eyes. “Eds, there’s something else you’re not telling me.” Eddie looked almost away immediately. “Eds, you don’t have to tell me.”

“It focussed on you because I like you. My greatest fear is you hating me and rejecting not only my sexuality but also me. My fear is that you, well none of you would accept who I am.”

Richie was at a loss of words but starts to draw his lips into a small grin. “Eds, I would never. Look I uh, I like you too.”

“What? Please tell me you’re not saying that outta pity.”

“Eds why do you think I annoy you so you’d pay me attention and not one of the others? Telling you that i ‘fucked your mom’ is my fucked up way of telling you i love you.”

“Richie?”

“Yeah?”

“I fucked your mom.”

“I love you too asshole.” The two boys laughed. “Come on, lets get you back to sleep.”

Richie reached over Eddie and placed his glasses on Eddie’s nightstand.

“Move over asshole.” Richie said. Eddie moved over so that Richie could comfortably and smoothly slide under the covers and Eddie cuddled into Richie’s bare torso.

“We haven’t done this since junior year of high school.”

“That’s because I thought it’d be awkward especially when you came out as bi. But now I can see I was stupid.”

In the Summer before their junior year, Richie had come out as bi to the Losers. Eddie started to slowly stop spending the night at Richie’s and made excuses for Richie to not spend the night at Eddie’s. It started with Eddie waiting for Richie to fall asleep before quietly sneaking out the window. Or telling Richie that he had picked up an early morning shift, so that Richie didn’t stay or sneak over.

“No you aren’t. Just sleep and I can take you out to dinner tonight.”

“Definitely.”


End file.
